Well, it's certainly been an interesting few days.

EJ graduated on Monday! =D That's right, he's no longer in his MOS school, he's actually going to start work; today's his first day!!

I've been kind of keeping it a secret that EJ was offered a job at Quantico to work on the Presidential helicopter fleet because I wanted to know for certain whether or not he'd get the security clearance needed before I went and plastered it all over the internet. As it stands now, it's not looking good. Things were going well right up until - literally - the day he was supposed to leave. Then his orders came and, oh whoops, looks like he's not going to Quantico. This doesn't mean he absolutely, 100% won't get the job (since it takes up to six weeks to get security clearance), but it's doubtful. So, it's off to his original duty station. Gotta love the military. (One thing that would have been delightful about the job at Quantico was that he wouldn't have gotten deployed. Where he's at now, that's not really the case. C'est la vie.)

In other news, I found out about the CPSIA completely by accident yesterday. This got me foaming at the mouth angry and I wrote letters to my representative and one of my senators (for me to have actually done that is amazing. I feel as though I did something worthwhile for once). This, plus the NAIS, plus the fact that now North Carolina is stepping onto the "force homeschoolers into public school" bandwagon (although, in that particular case, there seems to be a few extenuating circumstances - the judge doesn't seem to be against homeschooling on principle), put me over the edge. I completely broke down during evening prayers last night and called out to the Christ, Mary*, and Saint Monica for strength and prayers. The government just seems to be intruding into our lives in ever more subtle and ingenious ways and I was beginning to feel like an animal trapped in a corner - normally, I wouldn't bite, but don't you dare stick your hand out towards me right now...

Thankfully, I'm much calmer now. Jesus has begun to answer my prayers and I'm feeling more and more at peace about letting Him control every aspect of my life. I'm finally beginning to realize in my heart, not just in my head, that this earth is not my home, that I'm just passing through, that I should never become attached to anything here, and nothing I can do to prepare for trials ahead (self-sufficient farming, homeschooling, etc.) has any power in and of itself. It's the realization that the government could very well step into my life and take my children away that is forcing me to realize with absolute certainty that I have no eternal control over them. I have to give them over to God or risk a complete nervous breakdown. Jesus knows what He's doing. In a way, it's almost a blessing to be losing the ability to run my own life, because it's forcing me to give up the vain belief that I have control and is making me rely on God in ways I never would have considered except intellectually.

*Last night was the first time I fully realized that Mary watched her son be nailed to and die on a cross. As I was crying on my bed, for a split second I saw Mary obove me (even though my face was buried in the sheets) about to gently cover me with her veil; it almost forcefully occured to me that she knows exactly the fear I'm feeling (to the nth degree) and that I should ask her to pray for me. She knows what it's like to lose her only child to the government - and her faithfulness saw her through. Now, look how she's been rewarded. =)

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