A Less Convoluted Continuance
I can't help it, I have to post.
Today was going to be the day.
I was going to learn, come hell or high water.
I was going to KNIT!!!
Fearlessly, I entered Wal-mart and made my way to the fabric section. I was as the intrepid explorers of old, scouting new lands and territories. But my heart quivered within me as I gazed upon the rows of yarn and knitting needles. Where would I ever start? I was lost - afloat in a sea of soft wool. Avast! My eyes suddenly rested upon the glossy cover of a cheap instruction manual. I Can't Believe I'm Knitting! The model on its cover gloated as she effortlessly looped and tied her furry prey. In a frenzy of jealousy, I seized the book and vigorously perused its instructions. "Good enough," I thought, and, bolstered by this most recent victory, chose a 10-size needle and blue double worsted yarn. Mwahaha. Defeat would never touch me!
Eyes wide open, I hurried to the checkout line (after quickly checking to see if they had the third season of Futurama and then grabbing a gallon of drinking water) lest someone perceive my determination and attempt to waylay me. After giving the vested check-out lady my hard earned money (sorting and returning all of those bottle and cans takes effort), the van was safely reached and I drove hurriedly home.
Once inside my room, all thoughts were bent upon success. Carefully now, I read and studied my prize, make a loop, yes, then slip it over, oui, then gently tighten. HAHAHA!! It worked! It really worked!! Excitedly I turned the page, I could accomplish anything!
But mine enemies were all around me. Seeing my small victory at casting on, they sought to boggle my brains with their instructions for continuing the stitch. Sweat poured in small rivulets down my forehead as I pondered the illustrations and read again and again the words meant to guide me towards my ultimate goal - a square kitchen scrubber. Alas! They had won! Timidly, I pushed the needle through a loop, put the yarn over, then pulled it through and -
...failure...
- complete and utter failure. Over and over I tried; now this way, now that way, but it was hopeless; I was vanquished. My stitches were as laughable as a pug dog. I'd been bested, defeated, and laid low. Dejected, I unraveled my pathetic attempts and came to vent my frustrations to the world at large (at least, everyone who reads this here). Thankfully, I've ordered a DVD from Amazon.com. It was foolish of me to ever try to learn anything practical from a book - even one with pictures. I'm a visual/motion/hands on learner. No book, however beautiful the pictures, can truly help me (the one exception being the Bible, but that's just because God ish teh awesome sauce).
One way or another, though, I will learn to knit. Hopefully, this DVD will help, but if it doesn't, I'll hunt down a grandma and force her to teach me. The DVD would just be way more convenient.
Today was going to be the day.
I was going to learn, come hell or high water.
I was going to KNIT!!!
Fearlessly, I entered Wal-mart and made my way to the fabric section. I was as the intrepid explorers of old, scouting new lands and territories. But my heart quivered within me as I gazed upon the rows of yarn and knitting needles. Where would I ever start? I was lost - afloat in a sea of soft wool. Avast! My eyes suddenly rested upon the glossy cover of a cheap instruction manual. I Can't Believe I'm Knitting! The model on its cover gloated as she effortlessly looped and tied her furry prey. In a frenzy of jealousy, I seized the book and vigorously perused its instructions. "Good enough," I thought, and, bolstered by this most recent victory, chose a 10-size needle and blue double worsted yarn. Mwahaha. Defeat would never touch me!
Eyes wide open, I hurried to the checkout line (after quickly checking to see if they had the third season of Futurama and then grabbing a gallon of drinking water) lest someone perceive my determination and attempt to waylay me. After giving the vested check-out lady my hard earned money (sorting and returning all of those bottle and cans takes effort), the van was safely reached and I drove hurriedly home.
Once inside my room, all thoughts were bent upon success. Carefully now, I read and studied my prize, make a loop, yes, then slip it over, oui, then gently tighten. HAHAHA!! It worked! It really worked!! Excitedly I turned the page, I could accomplish anything!
But mine enemies were all around me. Seeing my small victory at casting on, they sought to boggle my brains with their instructions for continuing the stitch. Sweat poured in small rivulets down my forehead as I pondered the illustrations and read again and again the words meant to guide me towards my ultimate goal - a square kitchen scrubber. Alas! They had won! Timidly, I pushed the needle through a loop, put the yarn over, then pulled it through and -
...failure...
- complete and utter failure. Over and over I tried; now this way, now that way, but it was hopeless; I was vanquished. My stitches were as laughable as a pug dog. I'd been bested, defeated, and laid low. Dejected, I unraveled my pathetic attempts and came to vent my frustrations to the world at large (at least, everyone who reads this here). Thankfully, I've ordered a DVD from Amazon.com. It was foolish of me to ever try to learn anything practical from a book - even one with pictures. I'm a visual/motion/hands on learner. No book, however beautiful the pictures, can truly help me (the one exception being the Bible, but that's just because God ish teh awesome sauce).
One way or another, though, I will learn to knit. Hopefully, this DVD will help, but if it doesn't, I'll hunt down a grandma and force her to teach me. The DVD would just be way more convenient.
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